date a girl who eats books
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eat a girl who dates books
Book a date to eat girls
I honestly love drunk girls so much, last night I was at a party and a girl started crying because she loved my hair
One time in college, I had a fight with my boyfriend and was sitting outside crying, and a drunk girl came over and gave me a leaf to make me feel better.
amazing
i was on the train and 3 drunk girls saw me and said i had nice brown eyes so they sang “brown eyed girl” to me
I threw up at a frat party and I was crying in the bathroom and a drunk girl went upstairs to get me a shirt and came back with a sweater and a kitten.
Amazing
Drunk boys: will gather into a huge pack and harass people passing by.
At the last party I went to three drunk girls fishtail braided my hair by committee
a drunk girl drew an eye on the back of my hand and then patted it with satisfaction and whispered “count olaf”
this is a nice post
once at a barbecue a drunk girl gave the surgical scar on my shoulder a butterfly kiss and said “you’re cured”
A drunk girl at a bar I was at became worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrition and proceeded to hold peanuts to my lips and just keep saying “peanut peanut” until I would eat it. And after I allowed her to feed me a peanut she pet my hair and said “Thank you”.
How to have sex
- Boy: can I put my finger in your belly button?
- Girl: yeh sure
- Girl: that's not my belly button
- Boy: that's not my finger
Every girl has that one guy no matter how sleepy she is, she’ll pick up the phone if he calls.
if you’re a girl and you call everyone “bro” you need to stop because you sound unattractive and stupid
if you’re a person who thinks someone shouldn’t be allowed to use certain words because of their gender you need to stop because you sound unattractive and stupid
"Your bra strap is showing"
Oh no
No one must know that I, a teenage girl, is wearing a bra
Someone call Victoria because her secret is out
1. Wash your sheets every two weeks, I promise you’ll sleep better.
2. If a boy breaks your heart, it’s okay to cry.
3. If a girl breaks your heart, it’s okay to cry.
4. School is important, but there are many things you can’t learn in a classroom. Pursue them.
5. Find your passion, and run with it.
6. No, you don’t need to lose weight.
7. You are beautiful without make up.
8. You are beautiful with make up.
9. Being a good person will never go out of style
10. Buy yourself flowers if you’re feeling sad.
11. Getting enough sleep is very important.
12. Drinking water has so many benefits
13. Believe in fairytales, believe in love, and allow no one to steal your magic.
14. Reading is good for the soul.
15. I am not here to judge you, but I will always support what I think is best for you.
16. I appreciate you.
17. I am proud of you.
18. Even on your worst days, you will never disappoint me.
19. I love you no matter what.
you know that quiet girl in class?
yeah she goes home and makes fun of you all on tumblr
you know that quiet girl in class?
yeah she goes home and makes fun of you all on tumblr
Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
[Class titters]
Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
[Laughter increases]
Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
[Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
SHOTS FIRED
